Your next word will cause a Reaction or a Response

Our attempt to resolve problems, deal with differences of opinions, desiring to express where we have been offended or trying to correct bad behavior in a relationship; can either cause more negative reactions or cause a response. Reactions are usually quick and immediate. They are normally more based from how we feel. Like the natural reflex of a muscle. However, a response is more thoughtful. A response considers, “What I am about ready to say, how will it impact the rest of this conversation and will it help to bring resolve?” A response usually has a thought out plan with the end goal in mind to… understand and resolve. Reactions could be more, “I just want to express how I feel” or “I want to get this off my chest”.

We have the ability to trigger a response that could bring resolution, reconciliation and healing. Choosing the right words have tremendous power. Words can provoke, stir up, push buttons. Words can start wars; or bring people to the table to sign Peace Treaties. Words have the power to close the deal on a multi-million dollar contract. Words also have the power to destroy relationships, and create tension and division. Wise words have incredible power to bring peace in a home or in the work place. Words can gain a friend or bridge differences. Being purposeful with our words that cause more response can bring a healthy environment to our relationships.

Consider these Scriptures from God’s Word that bring light to triggering a response or a reaction.

  • Ephesians 3:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
  • Hebrews 10:24, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,”
  • Galatians 5:26, “Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.”
  • Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”

What we say, how we react or how we respond will CREATE an environment. We have the ability to raise the level of our relationships to be more purposeful, intentional; to cultivate an environment that will be conducive for encouragment, learning from one another, resolving problems and lifting each other to greatness. Weeds don’t need help to grow. Weeds can grow in any crude environment. Plants and trees that produce healthy fruits and vegetables, need an intentional environment. This requires someone that cares to give the effort to create.

Let’s create an environment that triggers a response so great things can grow.

Bonnie and I had a conversation about causing reactions and responses on our last podcast. You can listen by clicking here… Episode #002 Linked: Are You Causing a Reaction or a Response?

Love… More than a Feeling

Love is more than emotion, it is a choice. Love is more than a feeling (yes I’m singing Boston’s song right now), it’s an attitude. Love is far beyond just sexual attraction; love has been planted and sprouts within us because it is the fruit of God’s Spirit. We keep on loving, because God is constantly producing love in us by His Spirit. Love is not just thoughts or words alone, but action. We give out of love, we do selfless acts expecting nothing in return, because we love. We love, because our Heavenly Father IS love. We have His DNA in us. We don’t just love those we like or are attracted to… we are full spectrum lovers… we love our enemies too. 

3 ways to love MORE:

  1. Don’t just think it, say it. Don’t just say it, express it in a form of appreciation. Show kindness, help someone, buy a gift, give words of encouragement, send a card, find a need and resolve it, pay someones bill, take them to lunch, pick up the phone and call. There are so many ways to show our love. What we don’t want to do is, wait until its too late to express our love. Let’s not live in regret. “I wish ___________ were here so I could tell them (show them)… how much they mean to me. “
  2. Take a step to resolve a conflict. Don’t let unresolved conflicts, misunderstandings or pride keep you from love. Release someone who has offended you. Don’t make them guess, if you are still mad at them or not. Directly tell them you forgive them.
  3. Don’t let a few people harden your heart. Some people will be bent on being mean, grouchy, cynical. Don’t let the few force you to forget about the many others in your life who are nice. Don’t let the hardships of life cause you to abandon the call of love and kindness. Keep your heart soft toward showing kindness, love, caring. People who love live a longer, happy peaceful life.

1 John 4:10-11, Galatians 5:22, 1 John 4:7, 1 John 3:17, Matthew 5:44, 1 Corinthians 13